yyland

So.

*giggles*

*ahem*

So..

So I went out tonight with my friends from Down Under—one of whom has, shall we say, a sliight crush on one Edward Cullen.

Yes, that’s right, I’ve just home from watching Twilight.

So, what can I say that hasn’t already been said?

a) It’s bad. Oh, so bad. Laughably bad. Horrendous dialogue, really bad editing, and lousy acting. Oh, and did I mention the really really bad dialogue?

b) Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen is SO HOT.  I mean, at first I was all, ‘erm, he’s wearing waay too much makeup…’, but he grows on you—at least, I wish he would, on me. *grins*

c) It’s still a bad movie. I mean, the raw material—i.e. the book—was bad already, so what can you expect from a movie that remained quite faithful to it, terrible dialogue and all?

So, yeah. It’s basically a tween-chick-flick—chick flick for tweens. Or people too silly to see the OBVIOUS flaws in the book, and hence the movie—and there’re a LOT of ‘em. Both the flaws and the silly people. I mean, the book has no plot, for crying out loud! And no depth either! The characters are either perfect (I hate perfect characters; to me it just says the author is too lazy to create a ‘real’ character, or too shallow to appreciate flaw-ness), or vapid—cue Bella going ‘I know nothing about you apart from the fact that you’re damn hot, but I trust you not to suck me dry and kill me. I mean, here she has this perfect conflict-creating plot device, AND SHE JUNKS IT! With three vapid little words! Sheesh.

See, this is why I like reading LJ Smith, Tamora Pierce and the rest of it. I mean, yes, it’s escapist literature, it’s not meant to be a) realistic or b) un-happy, but damn, there’s gotta be a line! Perfection=boring! The whole point of escapist literature is not that there are no problems or flaws, but that everything always works out in the end! And the key here is, IN THE END. Not after five minutes.

Seriously, imagine you’re Edward. You have this problem—i.e., you like this girl, and you want to suck her blood. How would you feel if, when you told her that, she just went, “oh, that’s not really a problem!” and brushed it off? I’d get annoyed, but that’s just me.

Imagine you’re Bella, and you have this problem—i.e., you like this guy (cos he’s hot, right!) and he tells you that your scent is his “personal brand of cocaine” (or something). Wouldn’t you at least for a little while wonder whether he likes you cos he likes you, or cos he’s just so animalistically attracted to the scent of your blood?

SIGH.

I can’t believe this person wrote like half a dozen books (or is it more?) based on these two pallid creatures (both in the sense that they’re so bloody pale and in the sense that they’re such flat characters) and people actually love them!

Seriously, it really does seem like anyone can get published if they try—and by try, I mean, try to find a publisher, not try to write greatness…

But really, if you remember nothing else from this loooong rant, remember this:

Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen: HOT.